Full of Joy

I've had an interesting week so far...interesting... :) I got moved away from the guy who drives me bonkers at work. Well - not really, now I just sit behind him, and now I'm just in the middle of three boys who poke fun of me. What happened? I thought Nick was quiet??? But he's just as bad as the other two! hehe. That's all right. That's what makes it fun working there. Hey - I work with a bunch of guys -  When they're not talking about videogaming, they're having three-hour long conversations about bacon, or the stupidity of chickens, or star wars and whatnot. What was today's topic? Oh yeah -- paperclips. I wish I had an emoicon for rolling my eyes! :)
     It has been an interesting week. Still going pretty steady in this Raw Diet. Actually, a few weeks back I was having doubts I'd make it a month, cause I was thinking about reeses peanut butter cups and cheese cake and pizza a lot during one of those weeks. But here I am... and I don't really want any of those foods anymore. The thought of eating those greasy, sugary foods - it just makes me sort of sick inside. I do crave bread from time to time.
My main problem is making sure I eat enough everyday. I still tend to slip quite easily into that pattern of eating nothing until super. But I make sure to take fruit with me to work so I can eat it during my breaks to quell the hunger. I love watermelon. I think I will get up and get some now! :) I have been experementing with different veggies/fruits. I even bought some mushrooms tonight that I thought I might add to the chilli soup i want to make this weekend. I figured if I like nuts now - maybe I'll like mushrooms?? Probably not. But I'll give it a go.
I have begun to notice how much my attitude has changed just in the past month. I am just happy and very talkative. I noticed that last night in biblestudy as I was sitting with my friends -- what's going on with me? I wondered. I'm normally a listener. I normally have a ton of things worrying my mind that prevent that smile from ever reaching the surface. Somehow they have gotten me completely open and talking -- somehow they've caught me actually being me. And now I am just filled with joy and I can't stop that smile. That is why I know I can do this. I have never expereienced such perseverence or self-control before - or such joy.
I will probably run down to the YMCA this next week and see if I can afford to get a membership there again. I miss swimming. I used to swim all the time.  But I had stopped because I don't like my body. But now I am starting - just a little - to see someone else when I look into the mirror now. It is sort of strange. :P The self-portrait I took the other day, I find myself gazing at it some times because I am beginning not to recognize her or the expression on her face. The clothes are getting baggier, the face is just beginning to change, the shoulders are more defined, the hips and waist are getting smaller. I am just hoping I can make it a few more weeks with these shorts! It's getting to the point of annoyance because they're getting so loose! And I know all that is going to continue during the next months - to change more and more until I look back on my old pictures and I don't recognize that girl anymore. And I happily await that day.
Did I ever tell you what I'm getting myself in six months (five months now!) if I can do this? I am buying myself an orchid. Because to me - an orchid is a thing of beauty. I know that beauty on the outside is fading - but you know what - I feel the inside changing too. I feel more peaceful and calm each day. And certainly more joyful and happy. And just giddy with excitement!! :)
At least the boys at work have stopped asking me why I'm smiling so much by now, they are no longer suspicious. They're getting used to it. They all know I'm doing this too, they've actually been quite supportive. Which is why Joshua keeps asking me if I would like a swedish fish everyday! He fains sweetness, but he's full of nothing but sarcasm from head to foot. ;)