Changes

I took some Ibprophen last night by the way and the headache went away. So it must not have been a full blown migraine or it wouldn't have gone away. Or it could have gone away because it was dark by that time and I was sitting in a dark room trying to rest. No thanks to the neighborly elephants who were stomping around upstairs! hehe. They must have a kid up there running around or something. I know it's a young somalian woman, I helped her carry her TV inside one day. She seemed nice, but they all kind of keep to themselves.
Anyway... I have lost about 12 pounds. So I've been losing almost 1 pound a day. That seems like a lot, but they were saying that it is a healthy weightloss, especially if you're big when you start, like me. It's supposed to taper off when your body resets itself at its ideal weight. I've been reading and hearing that you shouldn't weight yourself everyday, to keep you from becoming discouraged - but I find that it encourages me. I try to only weight myself in the morning though! Because sometimes I get addicted to that scale! hahaha. It's just so cool. All my pants are very baggy on me now... And the black Japanese t-shirt I had bought a few months ago is now so baggy on me it looks kind of bad. I'm still wearing it though cause I love to see people staring at the Japanese beacuse they don't know it's really english turned on its side to look like kanji. There - now you know the secret too. hehe. it's funny. I love wearing those Christian T-shirts, you would not believe how many Christians stop and talk to me because they read it as I was passing. It's really cool. :)
Anyway....
I saw that guy again this morning - the one who lives in this apartment complex and drives that white ford focus. I thought he was losing weight! Cause when I first met him he was a pretty big guy and I saw him today walking out the door and thought to myself - Who's that? I've never seen him before. Then he walked to his white car and I was like OH! Holy cow! He looks like a completly different person now. That's cool. He's quite shy though, I've held the door open for him a few times and he'll say 'Thanks' really quietly, but that is the extent of our conversations. :) And I always open it for him when I have my arms loaded with groceries! haha. And I open the door for the guy who lives across from me too. Come to think of it - I open the door for a lot of guys! What is with that? Isn't the guy supposed to open the door for the girl??? :) The only guy who opens it for me all the time is the black man who lives down the hall, but that's just because he's so sweet! :) Not that I like him in that way. (I know my mom will ask if I leave that unsaid!) ;)

Headaches

Wow, I have a wicked headache today. We just relocated to the other end of the office (yes we moved AGAIN! this is at least the 20th time), and they had all the lights on. Normally Mike turns half of them off so we girls don't have headaches from the terrible florescent lights.) But Mike didn't get around to us until around 2:30, and by then it was way to late -- headache has already moved in and seems quite fit to stay for the night. Pressing all the reflex points isn't helping me either, might be a migraine, I feel sort of sick at the moment. Florecent lights are one of the main causes of headaches and migraines in the work place, especially because florecent lights flicker, even though the human eye cannot see it and that flickering can trigger migraines. I think I'm just gonna have to shut all the curtains and keep my eyes closed for a while.
Maybe I'll try some ibprophen first. :( Man, I certainly don't miss this pain though. Migraines run in the family though, but I haven't had as many problems as I have this year with them. I am very reluctant to use any medication for them though. But for the past month I haven't had a single problem until now, and that was brought on by the lights not being the way I am used to them. So I'm pretty confident that this Raw Diet is helping me a lot in that respect. I am just assuming that all the sugar I had been eating was triggering them. I hope it's not chocolate though. ;) I was going to make some more of those raw chocolate brownies this afternoon. I might put half carob and half cocoa powder in it instead this time. I really just want some chocolate, but I don't want to buy it from the store cause it has a bunch of sugar in it! :)
I think there were some recipes for raw chocolate truffles on the internet that I might try instead though, but I think they had basically the same ingredients.
I don't know what's been going on with me the past few months, but I am just not writing like I used to. I haven't really been writing at all. I think I have just been doing this particular book for so long that I am growing bored with it. Really I think it's just because I'm uncomfortable with how the ending goes. I hadn't really mapped out the last quarter of the book, so I am very disorganized and don't know what comes next. Maybe I should start with mapping it out. I gotta do something to get this jumpstarted and I have to do it soon.
On another note - I just remembered that I was supposed to be recording piano music all week -- And so far? I have only recorded one, and I will have to redo that one cause I hate it! :) And then I have to decide what I am playing for church when Aug. 1 rolls around!! I have a new song in the works, but I'm not sure if it will be ready by the end of the month. I'm still playing around with it. It seems that my longer pieces, the ones that have different - oh - movements in it, those take me well over 3 months to compose. I just play it again and again and again, adding more and more and tweaking with the harmonies until I decide it's finished. Those longer songs never have lyrics to them. Well, except for Lord God of Heaven. Which I will be recording this week! Whether I want to or not! I wish I could somehow record the organ part that goes with it. Cause it really sounds cool when it's all put together. Maybe if I wrote it out I could have Gin playing a piano/organ duet with me! She would love that. :)
I still haven't written out the music for any of these pieces in Finalie, cause my Midi just sucks. :P I will have to talk to that piano guy at the music store, he was saying I probably had my Midi set up wrong. Could be, I haven't used it for five years, I didn't really try to figure it out. I used it for a week and gave up. hehehe.

Happy!

Well, been enduring the recarpeting phase at Navitor for the entire day - So basically - people shouting to each other from opposite ends of the room, throwing crap, pushing stuff across the floor, driving me insane. I had my headphones turned up, and could hardly hear my music! :) And the smell of that glue -- oh man... It was making me naucious. And I think I am slightly high now. haha. :) Against my will of course! Finally home, just to enjoy another day of it tomorrow. I think they should have just stuck with the old carpet. ;)
There is a Sumalian kid knocking at my window and waving at me right now. What a cutie! ;) hehe. That just made my day. :D
As for the Raw Food Diet, I have officially lost 10 pounds now. Not sure where I have lost it, but heck - that's like the weight of a bowling ball! I have been wearing some shirts that I haven't worn all year long because they had been a bit tight. And I'm glad I got over the chills that I had been having through the first week. Not needing to wear sweatshirts at work now. ;) They said that would happen and it would take about 2 weeks to readjust. Weird what the body goes through. That is the correct spelling of 'weird' by the way! :) hahaha. It was just bugging me until I went and looked it up!

Smiling

All smiles today. :) Literally, I can't stop smiling. :) Which says a lot cause as soon as I got to work I had to do 77 MCC orders right off the bat!! blaghhhh... Mainly - MCC work is mindless drone work, I don't even have to think while I do it!!  They send me crappy art, I approve crappy art. We print crappy art. And -- They get crappy cards. Which is why I can plow through 77 orders in two hours. Just so you know - I would never EVER approve crappy art on the Navitor side! So send your stationary products to us to print!!! :) Honestly, I don't know how such a business could stay running! We are all bewildered and amazed! :) Hope they're cheap at least. I wouldn't pay for them... Although I did see some pretty wierd stuff. Like green flying monkeys. As art, I mean, there were no real flying monkeys...but that would have been sweet if there were! ;) And the rest of the day Joshua and I bashed the movie The Avatar for being so completely horrid and terrible!!! Well, we knew it would be, so I don't know why we thought we should see it! haha. That was a complete waste of $10. Unless, you haven't seen the anime, it might be a little good. Maybe...Probably not. Go see it! I mean, don't see it!!! But I feel great today! And obviously a little giddy and weird. My coworkers always give me weird looks whenever I can't stop smiling. How the heck do you spell weird? I before E, except after C.... Wierd. Well, that just doesn't look right!! The grammer guy who came up with that rule was an idiot! So I'm going to spell it the other way. Weird!
I think I was so tired yesterday because I ate cooked food or something. I'm not really sure. I'll probably try some steamed dish next weekend and see for sure. I've never sat on the couch for the entire day yawning my eyes out like that before. As I was driving to the grocery store, I began to think that wasn't such a good idea. I was really not mentally with it!
Today I made a salad so big I couldn't finish it all. And I felt sick the rest of the afternoon because I tried to! You should probably not eat your entire days' serving of veggies in one sitting. :) I think tomorrow I will probably prepare my salad before I go to work - then put it in two seperate bags! :)
And I discovered another great tasting smoothy -- 1 pear, 1 banana, handfull of blueberries. I think that was all I put in it. It was good though. Mostly I was too lazy to pit a dozen cherries, so I grabbed a pear cause I hadn't tried that before. :)
And I have discovered that in the life of a Raw Foodist - bananas make the world go round! I have at least 16 bananas sitting on my table right now! The last time I ran out I didn't know what to do with myself! Basically they are good to have around when you have cravings because they fill you up for a while.
Still trying to get used to eating more everyday. When I was on the SAD diet, I would rarely eat anything before supper (not good!) and then I would get really hungry by then and overeat. So I am not used to this eating all the time. Supposed to have small meals six times a day, three hours apart, which, while I was on the Master Cleanse, that was when I got truly hungry - every three hours. Who knew I could loose weight while eating a lot more! I suppose I am eating the way my body wants me to now.
I wonder if I hadn't told other people that I was doing this, if I would have given in by now. I don't know, maybe I wouldn't have. I have a great God who is on my side! And I am trusting him. :) I just feel so great right now. I don't even want to go back to the way I used to eat. And that's fine by me.

Surviving the Chocolate Withdrawl! :)

Man am I tired today. I feel like I've been hit by a bus or something. I was reading on the forum (http://www.rawfoodtalk.com/) that eating cooked food when your body is used to raw foods will do that to you, because your body has to break down and get rid of the toxins which slows it down. Others say they feel extremely tired and lathargic. I would agree with them 100%!!! I didn't think it would have this effect - I just assumed when they mention cooked foods they mean pasta or McDonalds or something like that. I didn't think steamed veggies would do it too. I guess because your digestive system has to work harder? I don't know.
It could also be the MSM though, I took that basically for the first time this morning.
And it could also be because I didn't get up until 9:00 - which pretty much screws your whole day up! :)
We'll see what happens tomorrow. I've been all raw today, so I should be feeling good tomorrow. If not - I'll know it's the MSM. One of its side effects people comment on is poor sleep and wierd dreams or nightmares, if I notice that going on - well... I just hope it doesn't. I have been sleeping pretty good the past three weeks. Still filled with vivid dreams. I wonder if it corrects your sleeping patterns to what it should be, so that when I wake up in the morning, I'm in REM stage and in the middle of a dream. Maybe that's why they seem so vivid and I seem more rested and peaceful lately? Dunno. But I pray the MSM doesn't cause any of those problems for me.
I got through my chocolate craving yesterday, and now it's completely gone after reading Paul Nison's article on chocolate and that it's not actually healthy or good for you at all. Did you know that cacao is one of of the most addicting substances known? And is extremely toxic to the liver. And if you eat it in high amounts it will give you hallucinations and all that other stuff that is usually associated with LSD??! No other animal, besides humans, will eat cacao beans. And if you can trick an animal into eating them, it will greatly shorten their lifespan if not kill them immediately! I would agree that it's extremely addicting. :)  If you want to know more about it you can read his article.
http://www.rawlife.com/store/pages.php?pageid=32
Feel free to argue and disagree! I too love chocolate! :)

Chocolate...

Um...so I've been craving chocolate all afternoon... I went to the store with the sole purpose of buying a Green and Black's chocolate bar! But they didn't have the 70% that I like and I didn't want to get the 85% - I probably should have I would eat less of it. :) But I got some dates and some carob powder. Carob is simular to cocoa, has a little bit of a different taste to it, but it has no caffine in it (or the host of symptoms that carries..) And it has low calories and no fat at all. So when I got home I decided to try the raw brownie recipe, because really, I was going to die! :) Lets see - one cup of dates and one cup of walnuts (I used almonds though) and 1/4 cup of carob powder, and 1/2 tsp of coconut oil. Blend it in a food processor for a while until it is virtually paste. Refridgerate or freeze. So I am waiting for it to set now. But I keep stealing bites of it. Not exactly the 'perfect brownie' but it does taste pretty good and very sweet. Actually, it would be a good base for a fruit pie or something. Oh! I want to make a raw apple pie sometime this week. You make a pie crust out of processed nuts and dates. Then a filling out of creamed apples and bananas, with cinnamon and nutmeg and those kinds of spices. Then put apple slices on top, more spices and enjoy. You could also use that pie crust as a crumbly top for cobbler. :) Or Granola! :) Ok. Gotta stop writing, I'm making myself so hungry.
So this morning I took some of the MSM powder (extreemely good for skin, restores it's elastic...um virtues I guess. It tastes nasty by the way. Basically have to suck it down. Then I spent 10 minutes making a cherry smoothy (yummm). Took my vitamins when I was halfway finished with it (figuring that would be enough food in my stomach to keep them down...) and then before I even finished it, I had to run to the bathroom and threw it all up...  Stupid vitamins.... And all that delicious, nutritious smoothy wasted. I've always had problems keeping these vitamins down ever since I got them, doesn't matter what I mix them with. Usually I am just really queezy for half an hour. Anyway....tomorrow I will try them after I eat a salad and see what happens then! 
Man - I love how I have virtually no dishes - just silverware and a few glasses. Since I'm not using meat or anything, I can just rinse off my salad plates and bowls with water right after I'm done with them.
Oh, I just remembered I was going to 'cook' myself a meal tonight! I bought a steamer last night. Gonna have corn on the cob, and then some stuff to make an asian dish.
I must admit - I have a headache right now, it may be from not eating much today, basically - after the smoothie/vitamin disaster this morning I compensated by eating a banana because I was running out the door to go to church by then, and had a salad at lunch. It's much easier for me to tell when I am full and stop eating. I notice my salads keep getting bigger and bigger cause I keep adding more veggies to them! But my stomach is saying - you are NOT eating all that! :P Also - as a person who has hated nuts all my life - I've developed a liking for almonds - especially on my salad. Weird - I know. ;) 
I am not drinking nearly as much water as I need to be either. I'm gonna have to get back on top of that.
Ok - I need a brownie now! :D

Releasing

Well, I'm down 8 pounds. :) That's about 1/2 lb a day for fourteen days. Well - I didn't have a scale for the first week, so that's actually 10 days. And so I've probably released more than that. My pants are getting quite - um - baggy. :) Exciting and annoying at the same time! But I am wearing some church clothes today that I had stopped wearing because they had become too tight and I was too uncomfortable in them. They fit pretty well right now. So I think I've lost some around the belly and around the waist. The only thing that I'm worried about on this diet is loosing too much too fast so that the skin doesn't heal and keep up with it -- I'm afraid of having loose skin. I've looked around at the posts on the forum and they keep saying that there won't be a problem with that on this particular diet - something about it keeps the skin very elastic and as you release weight, your skin will shrink to fit you. I hope that's the truth! I don't want flabs of skin! Ew gross! :) Although -- I was listening to one of Phillip's videos the other day - he's a guy that used to be 300lbs or more and he lost like 150 of that. The skin didn't really give him any problems, it shrank with him. And he was taking a supplement called MSM powder, which is supposed to help with that problem. So was another girl on the site. BUT - he also said - loose skin should not be your focus right now - it can't be - loosing weight should be. Because right now - as long as you are at this weight - you are dying. And I thought - well, that's certainly true. But it's still worrying me a bit. ;) But I got some of that MSM - it was hard to find because I guess it's an ingrediant used to make meth. I found it at Vitamin World, the salesman was trying to persuade me to get the Omega3 Fishoil pills instead or to guy some of the multivitamins I was looking at so that I could reach the $25 to become a lifetime member, I was a 'lifetime' member at one point, so obviously you must have to shop there often to keep it. Anyway, I was pretty annoyed by the time I got out of there, I just wanted that and felt pressured to buy the other stuff, which I told him I didn't have the money for anyway. I guess he was just being helpful though, so I won't hold it against him. :) Anyway, I'm going to try that.
Anyway, gotta get to church soon and I still have to learn how to sprout beans!